Insomnia Delirium

Sleep deprivation is starting to wreak havoc on me this week. My insomnia stems from having a lot on my mind... contemplation, reflection, speculation, concern.  Issues of the mind and heart...things that can not simply be forgotten or resolved. Things to work out, work through. Life stuff.

I've only slept around eight hours in the last five days.  I'm not whining, but I am starting to feel my personality amplify and distort... which, I assure you, is the last thing I need.

I'm overly emotional, hyper-sensitive, edgy, wired and having difficulty focusing. I also have this habit of talking too much. By the time I realize I’m doing it, I can’t remember the point at which I started or was trying to make. Just like now...

Looking for ways to overcome my present bout with insomnia, I read online (because I'm not quite feeling paranoid enough this morning) not getting enough sleep can lead to depression, weight gain, low self-esteem and brain SHRINKAGE.

The silver lining... I also found a list of 78 things to do when you can't fall asleep (that's such a random number.) After a certain point frustration sets in and you might as well get up and do something productive. Some are definitely worth trying, but a lot of them just cracked me up. I needed to laugh today...

Clean out your medicine cabinet
Read the Yellow Pages to learn about your community
Pluck your eyebrows
Memorize 5 new words from the dictionary
Free write everything that pops into your head
Clean the bathroom
Pray
Update your resume
Clip your nose hairs
Face your demons
Look at the stars
Sweep your deck or balcony
Pretend you're asleep
Draw your living room
Paint a self portrait
Make soup
Lie on the grass
Lie in the snow
Lie in the rain
Don't lie to yourself

When I have suffered through sleepless periods in the past, I’ve gone shopping in the middle of the night at stores open 24-hours, watched my children sleep (and taken pictures), chatted online with insomniac friends and created lengthy lists of things I need to do or that are bothering me.  Or I do as the Savage Chickens, ”Sometimes I lie awake all night worrying about insomnia.”

As I hash out the concerns in my life and future, finding resolution and acceptance, my thoughts will eventually quiet. Until that point though, I am following a slap-happy trail into delirium, where I’ll be making chicken soup in my medicine cabinet with brain shriveling demons. No rest for the weary...