What is e-skyoo?

What is e-skyoo?

[askew]
-adverb
to one side; out of line; in a crooked position; awry


Switching the phonetic with the actual spelling, I have the name of my blog. This name seemed appropriate because that is kind of the way my mind works, the way my life flows. It's all a bit askew (and www.askew.blogspot.com was already taken.) Once a friend/co-worker said that I should start a blog. I had all these stories that I shared about my kids that he found amusing... he didn't have children yet. Well it has taken me a few years but here it is finally. (Thanks Keith.)

I am still finding my way as to the exact direction my blog will take, but I am starting with my experiences, my impressions, my life with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder.) Yes, that’s right I have ADD. It’s out of the closet. If you know me personally, you probably already guessed that a long time ago even if I didn‘t figure it out until recently.

If you don't know me personally, well here's the best description I can offer: I am Jackie Powell, a bit hyper, bored if I not completely engaged, in constant motion, always in the middle of a million projects, likely to abandon things that are uninteresting to me, prone to making too many commitments, not good at saying NO, stressed out much of the time with all that I take on, impatient, passionate, dedicated, a perfectionist, organized (in little bits and pieces), a nit-picker, a jimmy-rigger, a solution-finder, a question-asker, a back-talker, but I am determined.... not all good, not all bad.  A mother, sister, daughter, friend. (It’s strange to write an honest description of yourself.)

If you too live a bit askew, then hopefully it will be a comfort to know that you are not alone and that it’s alright to laugh about it and not hide the wonderful flaws that make us unique.

So here is a condensed version of my life with select minutiae repressed on purpose: I was born in Kansas and grew up in small town Colorado. I am the oldest of five, three boys, two girls, nurtured through organized chaos by our remarkable and tireless father. I went off to College briefly to the University of Missouri, transferred home to Fort Lewis College in Durango, but finished my degree in Psychology (go figure?) at San Francisco State University.

During my years at SFSU, I worked for an amazing non-profit organization, Kainos [ky-nohs, rhymes with high dose] that provides a wide span of residential and occupational services to adults with developmental disabilities. At Kainos, I acted as the Development Manager i.e., fundraising, grant writing, special events, newsletter publication, marketing, etc.  But more importantly, it was at Kainos that I met my husband, Jerry, in 1991.  And my life began or so it felt.

We were married in 1995 in Hawaii and our first bundle of joy, Hannah was born a couple years later.  Three and a half years after that Sara graced us with her arrival.  We were set and had plans to relocate to Arizona so we could afford a larger house.

When Sara was but nine months old, I found out that I was pregnant... wow. That took my breath away for a minute. And it was a boy. Double WOW! Our little gift, Max, (my grandfather’s name) arrived on New Year’s Eve. So NOW we were set and we headed for the warm wonderful desert.

Though we knew but one person when we arrived besides my youngest brother, that didn‘t last long.  All of my siblings soon migrated to Grand Canyon State. All together again; at least for awhile until baby brother ventured to Maui... who can blame him?

Two years ago with all my kiddos in school, I started working part-time as a personal trainer, which is a perfect job for me... always on to move. But I continue to dabble... moonlighting as a house painter, Halloween costume designer (for my chicklets), party planner (again for my chicklets), wannabe cookbook author (with my sister), furniture refinisher, Facebook flunky, volunteer art instructor, triathlon hopeful, and self-improvement addict.

Self-discovery and rigorous honesty have been at the core of my life for the last few years. But this growth has not come without out casualty.  My 15-year marriage is coming to an end and I must learn to stand on my own two feet for the first time in my life. 

I was diagnosed almost by chance with my brain malfunction and began taking a prescribed drug. I will be the first to say that I have a minimalist’s view of medication. Only when necessary and all other avenues are exhausted, especially when it’s long-term. But I have seen first hand what drug treatment has done for my daughter (whose diagnosis is uncertain and we are fleshing out as we go.)

I am not advocating for or against medication. It is a personal choice for each individual and family. We tried countless approaches with my daughter before we could bring ourselves to even consider this option. In the end though, it has helped greatly and we are constantly reevaluating what’s working and what isn’t. Our focus was and always will be on her joy and success, and the happiness of our family.

For me medication has improved my focus and ability to finish things. I feel more patient, but I guess my kids would have to be the true judges of that. I have gained new clarity and self-awareness. And I feel no shame in admitting what I am... or at least I shouldn’t. Right? Hence my blog description confessions of a mother with ADD...

What I have learned through my journey, even if it did take years of trial and error and error and error, is that it is never too late! What ever IT is?? And self-improvement is always possible. Being a better mother and sister and daughter and friend and neighbor will remain life-long goals for me. So bear with me. I am just trying to find and focus on my strengths while managing my shortcomings. With ongoing effort and plenty of luck, I won’t screw up my chicklets too much along the way.