Here and Now

It is said that if we practice being present in the moment, we can have clarity, focus and peace. But I will be the first to admit that I spend way too much time worrying about what is going to happen or how things will work out. I also tend to relive events of the past in my twisted mind which were painful or I wish I had done differently.

Finances, health concerns, relationships, regrets... so much of which is out of our control... the future is not written and the past can not be undone. When I focus undue energy on the past or future, usually because of fear or anxiety, I only manage to torture myself with the awful possibilities... creating imagined realities that may never come to pass.

Concentrating on the past, wishing it were different, serves no purpose. I can not divorce myself from the past, but instead of regret, I need to learn from my mistakes or choices and then let go of the negative emotions I associate with these memories.

Now this is certainly easier said than done... I am a perfect example. But I know it is possible... at least I know that I can be present if I remind myself to do so. And sometimes I have to remind myself over and over. Is it possible to always be present? I doubt it, but when lack of presence causes anger, fear, anxiety, worry and inaction, well I know I need to try something different.

There are times when my mind wanders, and I just can’t seem to help it. But there is no failure in this... I just need to call myself back, and back again, and back again if necessary. As often as it is necessary. When I am going through a trying time in my life, it seems I have to remind myself almost every other second.

But I have found that the more I practice living in the moment, it becomes easier. And unbelievably (for my brain loves to dwell on the crap) there are times it comes naturally, unforced.


Besides, when I am present, I am happier... the people around me who I inadvertently effect are happier. I also find that I am able to do my best work... accomplishing more with fewer mistakes, tapping into greater creativity. I tend to learn and remember better, while experiencing increased enjoyment and fulfillment. I actually hear what is said to me... see what is in front of me... perceive what is here and now.

But how do we get out of our heads and into the here and now? For starters... practice, practice, practice. For a mental case like me that means diligently monitoring and redirecting my irrational thoughts. Here are some of the tricks I use...

It's in the details: If we focus on what is around us and get out of our heads we can deter or redirect our thought patterns. Look closely at the leaves on a tree in your backyard, the pattern in the ceiling tiles above us, the sound of distant giggles, the smell of rain in the air. When we engage our senses we perceive what we often pass unnoticed. As we concentrate the unconstructive recordings in our brain are muted.

Body over mind: Focusing on what is occurring with in our own bodies can offer a host of distractions... the rhythm of our breath, the growl in our stomach, the pressure of our closed lips, the drum of our heart. We can bring about calmness in our brains and bodies by concentrating within.

Work hard, play harder: From exercising or sewing to mowing the lawn or balancing a budget... be it choice or necessity, when we engage ourselves fervently on the task at hand, we can divert our focus and attention away from obsessive thoughts. For me this means channeling my energy into an activity that is both physically challenging and mentally engaging with an element of risk, like trail running or rock climbing. Plain and simple, stay busy!

Be still: Sometimes all the activity in the world can not distract us from pain or worry. Quieting our mind or body seems impossible at best. Directed meditation can often lead to inner tranquility if practiced regularly. Initially, it is important to choose a quiet setting where we will be uninterrupted. Adding soothing music or nature sounds, using a directed meditation recording or visualization can aid in the process.

Give it to God: Prayer has the ability to quite our minds, whether on our knees in the morning before starting our day or driving home from work. If we direct our prayers away from that which plagues us by praying for others or giving thanks, we may find respite. I have also repeated the Serenity Prayer or the simple request... “God please remove these obsessive thoughts” to push away what troubles me.

Yuck it up: Laughter is a supreme stress-reducer that brings our brain front and center. Studies show that a good guffaw relaxes tense muscles, provides increased oxygen to the brain, lowers blood pressure and boosts natural endorphins. Try smiling, renting your favorite comedy, joking with friends, watching your children play or laughing at yourself.

Get chummy: For me the very best way to shut down my anxiety and get back to the present is to talk to a friend. I spew out my garbage and am refilled with solutions and encouragement that reassures me that these feelings won’t last forever. Furthermore, when I listen--actively listen--to someone else's problems, I can’t really be thinking about mine.

Plan to make a plan: Certainly there are things that bother us that we can take action to alleviate or lessen the associated anxiety. Maybe we worry we won’t have enough money to retire, but worry alone will not take this problem away... so we need to make a plan to save money. If we are not presently in a position to save, then we can make a plan to make a plan. If we a set date to revisit this issue in the future, then in theory, we can stop fretting about it for now. Focusing on a solution versus the problem lessens our stress.

Give thanks: Listing--on paper or in our minds--what we are grateful for has the incredible power to change our mood and remind us that no matter how bad we think things are, we have much to be thankful for.

Have a good cry: When we are down and out and just stuck in our own despair, we may just need a full-on body-shaking weep. Crying is one of the ways that our bodies uses to rid itself of toxins and excessive stress hormones. Pop in one of the Top Tear-Jerkers like Ghost or Where the Red Fern Grows, or better yet try reading some of the depressing tales at Your Sad Story... and let it all out.

Personally I do a lot of writing which seems to take me away from my thought loops. I also attempt to do long division in my head... like 4,583 divided by 876... this takes extreme concentration on my part, because I totally suck at math. If all else fails, I have to really get real with myself about the pointless, pathetic waste of time and energy I am investing in my misery... and just get over it.

Fear and regret can rule our lives if we allow it. Living in the moment has the power to loosen this strangle hold. We should remember the joy and lessons of the past, plan and hope for the future, but in order to enjoy life, to be at peace, we must live in the present. If you ain’t here, you ain’t nowhere.